Fresh Air Fanatic

This is an apology. From us new Mums to our parents. I’m sorry for kicking and screaming when you sent us outside to play. I’m sorry for the whines of ‘do we have toooo?’ And the stamps of ‘I hate you, it’s so unfair’ when you kept us outside helping with the gardening for entire Saturday afternoons in the middle of winter. And the whinging that we just wanted to play one more game of Bamboozle on teletext or watch Philip Schofield and Gordon the Gofer in the broom cupboard (that sounds a bit wrong).

I get it now.

At the ripe old age of 34 I have finally discovered the benefits of fresh air. I now really understand how fresh air can almost make or break a day for me and Ottilie.

I reached a low point in my hormones, emotions, tiredness etc on New Year’s Day this year when Ottilie (who was about 7 weeks old) hadn’t slept or fed well for a few days and we were both exhausted and I was too frightened to leave the house in case she started screaming and I couldn’t feed her or there was nowhere to change her. So by New Years Day I was a mess. I just couldn’t function. I sobbed while making breakfast, I couldn’t hold a conversation with my husband without crying. I wept in the shower. For no reason that I could understand. I felt like I was wading through treacle, the simplest task seemed almost impossible ask. And I just couldn’t see how, in any way, things would get better. My husband offered to take Tilly for a long walk while I had some time to myself. So I took myself to the cinema, I’ve not been to the cinema since 2013!

I don’t think I can class this as a high point in my life, sniffling and silently crying at 4 o’clock on New Years Day on my own in a cinema surrounded by families watching Mary Poppins.

Anyway, long story short I messaged one of my new mum friends while sitting through the seemingly endless pre-film adverts. And she suggested a walk to talk through stuff.

We did two, maybe three rounds of Wandsworth Park the next day and I felt like a totally different person. I slept well. Tilly slept well. Tilly fed better because I felt better. It was like a cloud had been lifted off my shoulders.

My New Years resolutions were set. To go for a walk at least 5 days a week and to make sure I walked 10,000 steps a day, 7 days a week. I have stuck to that pretty much since then.

Come rain or shine I will take myself and Tilly out for a walk. Even if it’s Baltic and blowing dogs off leads, we’ll trudge round a park for 20 minutes. But most days we’ll be out walking for an hour or two. Especially as Tilly is awake for longer now, it seems to stimulate her mind as she loves looking up at the trees and sky from her pram, and consequently sleeps better at night.

Right now as I write this I am suffering the consequences of no walk today (Tilly is asleep thankfully). But it’s 1am and i can’t sleep. I can’t switch off. I’m dreading the next feed. I know I’ll be shattered in the morning, so instead of trying to sleep again I have lain here fretting about stuff for over an hour. I just feel really crap and I fully put it down to a lack of fresh air.

Tomorrow will be better. I have a busy day that involves a lovely long afternoon walk!

Bit of a step away from the usual blogging style but I wanted to attempt the odd different subject from time to time. Let me know what you think or if you think i should just stick to food!!

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